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To paraphrase Madonna, we are living in a stressful world and I am a stressed-out girl. So I’m always looking for ways to lower my cortisol without going to live off-grid in the south of France.

When I heard about interior designer Franky Rousell’s concept of “sensory design” I thought, why aren’t more people talking about this? We know that our senses have the power to change how we feel, and what Franky does is incorporate these elements into homes - helping people live, eat, bathe, sleep, socialise, relax and work in a way that makes them feel well.

Our homes aren’t neutral. They’re constantly acting on our nervous systems, for better or worse. “Your sensorial input is happening subconsciously all the time,” she says, when I call her for a chat about all of this. “And the result of that is how you feel, which then plays into how you perform and behave.”

Franky founded her studio, Jolie, after studying architecture and becoming fascinated by the relationship between design and wellbeing. Part of that came from personal experience: she was born deaf and underwent years of surgeries to restore her hearing. Not only did losing one sense heighten others (she can identify fragrance notes when most of us would have no clue), it also made her appreciate the power of the senses more than most.

Now she works with neuroscientists and behavioural experts on what she calls “immersive aesthetics”: creating environments that intentionally shape how we feel. Which sounds wildly expensive and Goop-adjacent, but simply means thinking more carefully about the signals your personal space is sending your brain.

So have a look around your home, and think: how does it make you feel?

If it’s not how you want to feel, then Franky has some tips for ways to improve your own immersive aesthetics.

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1. Clear clutter (sorry!)

I know it’s obvious, but it’s obvious for a reason. According to Franky, visual clutter actively stresses you out. “Our brain is constantly scanning for threats,” she says. “When you have a lot of visual things to register, it’s overstimulating and overwhelming. Your cortisol rises and decision fatigue kicks in.”
Which explains why it makes me physically uncomfortable to look at the kitchen surface where we dump bills, letters from school, old magazines, maybe-fixable broken plastic dragons, a watch that needs a battery and several old water bottles, only two of which have lids. Tell me you have a shelf like this in your house too??
“Your home is for relaxing and restoring your body, which is a huge part of wellness and recovery,” she says. “Clutter is the antithesis of that.” Don’t worry - there’s no need to throw away all your positions. It’s just about creating intentional space. Things that you genuinely love (books, ceramics, plants, photos) can be visible, just ideally higher up, and with space around them. She recommends nice easy-access baskets or boxes for the stuff that you need to have around, but doesn’t look pleasing.
Finally, she celebrates “shut door solutions”, ie. cupboards of chaos that nobody needs to see. “Everyone has clutter,” she says. “Even designers. As long as it’s behind a closed door, it doesn’t matter.”

2. Step away from the big light

There are few things I find as spiritually draining as sitting under a bright overhead light in the evening. Jonathan finds my aversion to “the big light” strange, so it’s reassuring when Franky explains that overhead lighting is fundamentally at odds with how human beings evolved. “Task-level lighting was brought in to get you to perform operationally,” she explains. This is why the top light makes me think of offices, supermarkets and hospitals.
Her advice for designing your lighting around your circadian rhythm? Open curtains wide in the morning to maximise natural light, use lamps instead of overhead lights, and think pools of warm light rather than full illumination. If you struggle with sleep, softer lighting is “a great way to send your body those cues to produce melatonin,” she says, adding: “I’m a candlelit girl from 8pm onwards.” Same.

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3. Texture matters

Franky says that different textures change how we physically and emotionally behave. Hard, cold materials like marble can make us move through rooms more quickly. “And warmer, softer textiles give people this underlying sense of comfort and confidence,” she says. “They can actually open up on an emotional level.”
If you want a room to feel restorative, think about adding rugs, linen curtains, chunky throws, wooden furniture and tactile fabrics with softer edges.
That’s not to say you can’t have your marble worktop in the kitchen: it’s beautiful and durable (just keep it uncluttered!). But think about having wood and softer textures in the dining area.
Interestingly, she says mixing textures also creates a sense of richness and depth in the brain, which makes people perceive your aesthetic as more expensive(!). “Having different textures, like marble next to mohair, woods against linens, makes a home feel invested in.”

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4. Curate your home’s soundtrack

“Your ears never switch off,” says Franky. From an evolutionary perspective, humans are constantly listening for danger, even while sleeping. Which means sound has a huge impact on whether our nervous system feels calm or vigilant.
She always has quiet music playing during dinner because it’s part of the ritual of unwinding. In her office, she uses soft classical music to help focus.
And there’s science behind why natural sounds feel so calming. “Birdsong tells the brain everything’s okay,” she explains. “If the birds are singing, there’s no animal threat nearby.”
Also, think about what sounds you don’t want. We know that soundproofing the windows of a house on a busy road can make it feel calmer, but this is also making me think that maybe I should do something about the fact that our washing machine sounds like a helicopter landing.

5. Make each room smell unique

Fragrance is uniquely powerful because it taps directly into memory and emotion through the olfactory system. “A certain smell can instantly take you back to a moment in your life,” she says. It can also help create intentional space within the home, by signalling to the brain what mode you’re in.
“If someone blindfolded you around your home, you should be able to tell which room you’re in by smell alone,” she says. I love this idea. It feels very bougie to create a signature scent for each room. Think calming smells for bedrooms and bathrooms, brighter citrus or herbal ones in kitchens, and grounding woody scents in living spaces. In an ideal world, your home would naturally do this anyway, as your bathroom would smell of the products you love, and your kitchen of fresh food.
Instead of blindly buying whatever candle has the chicest packaging, think about what smells you gravitate towards in perfumes or toiletries. There’s usually a reason.

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Importantly, don’t let any of this stress you out. It’s really not about perfection. It’s just about being more intentional with your home, to reduce unnecessary stress.

And this idea of intentionality can apply to so many areas - nutrition, exercise, sleep, work, social connections.

“We’re making all these decisions anyway,” says Franky. “So why not understand why you’re making them, and shift them towards what makes you feel good?”

Sometimes it’s literally as simple as turning off the big light.

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This week I’m…

Obsessed with Owen O’Kane’s new course about overcoming anxiety, A Life Less Anxious, on the BBC’s brilliant Maestro platform

Getting deeply into tapping with the new book from Rapid Tapping queen Poppy Delbridge. Unlock Your Power: A Seven-Step System to Transform Your Mindset and Create Change That Lasts is out now

So confused by the Rivals drop schedule. I’ve watched three episodes, just noticed one more has dropped, and when do we get the others? I can’t live like this!

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Toni Jones has read over 1000 self-help books, so you don’t have to.

As a burnt-out journalist, she threw herself into a decade-long immersion in the world of personal development. After hundreds of conversations with authors and wellbeing experts (including me), she created the Shelf Help Club, now with a community of more than 25,000 people.

What I love about Toni’s approach is that it strips away the exhausting “optimise yourself” energy that can make self-help feel like yet another item on a spiralling to-do list. Her debut book, YOU (The Beginner’s Guide), doesn’t promise a total life overhaul. Instead, it offers a manageable framework for understanding yourself better. It sounds too simple to work but, in a world where most of us are running on empty, it’s surprisingly transformative. Please enjoy this very useful guest post from Toni 💛

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“My name is Toni and I love self-help. Since discovering the genre at a desperate time in my life ten years ago I’ve read over 1000 books and, having made big shifts in my 40s, transforming from a burned-out and miserable tabloid journalist to a happy and healthy social entrepreneur, personal development has become my passion, my purpose and even my job.

And I have a secret to share with you: you can stop trying to fix yourself.

Seriously! From today I invite you to stop thinking about everything that might be wrong with you and/or your life, and instead get curious. Start treating yourself as a juicy project and start thinking about any challenges simply as data.

Because my main learning from 1000+ books and a decade immersed in this stuff is that self-help isn’t about fixing ourselves, it’s about getting to KNOW ourselves, and then designing a life that fits.

Sound simple? It is! Simple, but not easy, as I personally discovered from reading my first self-help book, and from connecting with thousands of readers and self-help lovers through my online book club, the Shelf Help Club.

💛 The Shelf Help Book Club

The world's first dedicated self-help book club. Supporting you to read more and feel better.

By Toni Jones

So many of us spend so much time wishing we could change things, but my experience is that change happens best when we understand - and start to get along with - ourselves.

Since I’m the kind of person who likes to a) share what I learn and b) have a plan (my therapist used to chide me for asking for homework that didn’t require just ‘sitting with feelings’) I’ve designed a super simple plan for helping anybody do it.

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THE CONNECTED SELF METHOD

Which should really be called the ‘getting to know yourself method’, but that isn’t quite catchy - or ‘self-help’ - enough 😆

This method, which I’ve used on myself for the past 10 years and pretty much daily with my reading community, invites you to connect with three different parts of yourself; past, future and present, using some core questions.

And so to celebrate the launch of my new book I’d love to share the same questions I ask to my readers, as well as a couple of exercises to help you begin to answer them.”

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THREE STEPS and THREE QUESTIONS

1. Self-Discovery
Core question: What has shaped you?
Exercise: The Story Audit
Set a timer for 10 minutes and complete these sentences:

• People like me always do/don’t...

• I learned early on that...

• The version of me I show others is...

• The thing I’m most afraid people will discover is...

• If I’m honest, I still believe...

Then ask for each answer:
Where did this belief come from? Is it still useful in my life now?

2. Life Design
Core question: Who are you becoming?
Exercise: Your Morning Rewrite
Write one page answering: If you woke up in your dream life what would it look - and feel - like? Get into specifics and avoid generic terms like ‘rich’, ‘healthy’, ‘happy’.

• Where are you waking up?

• What’s the time and how’s your schedule for the day?

• Who is around you?

• How does your body feel?

• What are you excited about on this day?

3. Life Support
Core question: What do you need?
Exercise: The Energy Audit
Split a page into two columns:
1. Gives me energy
2. Drains my energy
Brainstorm all the things that make up you and your life, including:

• People

• Foods

• Environments

• Apps

• Routines

• Conversations

• Content

Then circle:

• One thing to do LESS of this week

• One thing to MORE of this week

YOU (The Beginner’s Guide) is Toni’s first book, published by The Pound Project and available as a limited edition until 26 May

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This week I’m…

Feeling a bit existential crisisy about the state of the world. But super-psychotherapist Emmy Van Deurzen’s new book, Beginning to Live: The Art of Existential Freedom, is helping. It shows how to live inside uncertainty and instability without collapsing into cynicism or nihilism

Obsessed with Lucy Punch, Philippa Dunne and Joanna Lumley in the excellent new series of Amandaland

Torn between whether the dance floor is dead or I can turn the dance floor into a runway. Either way, strong contenders for song of the summer

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I was 16 the first time a doctor told me I was anaemic. A pale, exhausted teenager (also: a vegetarian with heavy periods) - looking back it was inevitable.

Now I’m in my 40s and have lost count of the number of times I’ve been prescribed supplements for iron deficiency or anaemia. Sometimes I’ve asked my GP for a blood test because of dizziness, fatigue or hair loss. But often it’s just been picked up as part of a test for something else, like during pregnancy or cancer treatment.

For me, fatigue often isn’t something I can just sleep off. It’s like a baseline. After supplementation, I feel better, but I always revert back. Something about my physiology just doesn’t seem to hold on to iron.

When I wrote recently about iron deficiency, I was hoping to find some answers. What didn’t make it into that piece was the more personal story: the cycle of diagnosis, supplementation, improvement, and then back to square one.

Even now that I no longer have periods (thanks, chemo), a routine blood test recently revealed that my iron stores are, once again, depleted. Not dramatically, but enough to warrant intervention. And so, I find myself reacquainted with my old friend, ferrous sulfate. These small white tablets promise to restore energy and resilience. And, to be fair, they do. But they come with gastrointestinal side effects (iykyk).

Over the years, I have experimented with over-the-counter iron supplements – particularly liquid formulations, marketed as being gentler on the stomach, such as BlueIron. But do they actually work?

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For the article, I spoke to Dr Sara Trompeter, consultant haematologist at UCLH who also has a private practice. She is, to put it mildly, sceptical about over-the-counter iron supplements, arguing they don’t contain enough iron to correct a deficiency. If you are clinically low, she told me, you need a therapeutic dose, which means a prescription.

It’s certainly true that replenishing your body’s iron stores can take months, and doing that requires a certain level of potency.

But (I’m learning there’s always a “but”), the levels in over-the-counter iron supplements are safe for the general public to take. Which is important because excess iron is toxic, so it could be extremely dangerous if a person with normal iron levels self-diagnoses a deficiency and overdoes it with supplementation.

Registered dietitian Rachel Clarkson, who has published research into iron absorption and genetics, says our genes play a major role. Some people are genetically less good at absorbing iron 🙋‍♀️ whereas others are more prone to (much less common, but very serious) haemochromatosis, where excess iron accumulates in the organs and joints.

So we should be very careful not to self-diagnose. After all, the symptoms of low iron (fatigue, brain fog) could be caused by stress, low B12, perimenopause or many other factors.

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Cara Shaw, a nutritionist with BlueIron, tells me that over-the-counter supplements are for people who (like me) know they’re prone to low iron, but perhaps haven’t had a blood test to diagnose a deficiency. “A moderate dose, taken consistently, can play a meaningful role,” she says. “Particularly for people with mild to moderate deficiency, or those prone to recurrent low iron due to menstruation, diet or lifestyle factors.”

She also says that the liquid supplement is formulated specifically to “get to the intestines where it is needed to be absorbed, without being broken down by harsh stomach acid earlier on in the digestive process.”

While Clarkson agrees with Dr Trompeter that over-the-counter supplements are unlikely to correct a diagnosed deficiency, she feels they could have a place in prevention for those of us who are not severely deficient, but not exactly thriving either.

As with everything, there is no one-size-fits all solution. Everyone is different, with different diets and lifestyles and periods, and their needs will vary. But one thing that everyone agrees on is that supplements should only ever be part of the picture. The real foundation is food.

Iron is tricky if, like me, you don’t eat meat; the richest source of easily absorbed (heme) iron. Plant-based sources contain non-heme iron, which is less readily absorbed, meaning you need to be a bit more strategic.

The good news is that small dietary tweaks can make a meaningful difference.

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8 ways to boost your iron intake (especially if you don’t eat meat)

Lean on legumes
Lentils, chickpeas and beans are some of the best plant-based iron sources. A regular dal or bean stew can do a lot of heavy lifting.

Pair iron-rich foods with vitamin C
Vitamin C enhances the absorption of non-heme iron, so add tomatoes and red pepper to your chickpea curry.

Don’t underestimate tofu and tempeh
Soy-based foods are rich in iron and versatile enough to slot into many meals (this tofu chocolate mousse is actually delicious).

Snack on nuts and seeds
Pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds (including tahini) and cashews all contain useful amounts of iron.

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Include dark leafy greens
Spinach, kale and chard all contribute, especially when paired with vitamin C.

Choose fortified foods
Many breakfast cereals and plant milks are fortified with iron, which is an easy win (check the label).

Cook in cast iron
It sounds weird, but cooking acidic foods in cast iron pans can increase their iron content. And I recently learned about this funny little iron fish that can do the same job. Sounds mad, but apparently it works??

Watch your tea and coffee timing
This is something I used to do aaaaaaall the time - have tea with my breakfast, and a coffee immediately after lunch. The polyphenols in tea and coffee inhibit iron absorption so, if you’re prone to low iron, leave an hour between iron-rich foods and your cuppa.

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Most men and meat-eaters are unlikely to be iron deficient but, for the rest of us, these simple tips can make all the difference when it comes to dragging ourselves out of bed in the morning. Let me know if you try them and what works for you.

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This week I’m…

Heading to Selfridges to pick up a Cacao Reset from the new central location of Elevate, the functional smoothie brand from Julie Baldet, which opens April 27

Relieved to read about the surprising benefits of stress. I’ve read so much about dangers of stress recently, it’s been stressing me out 😂

Returning to this brilliant (and free) 30-minute no-equipment-required Pilates session from How To Move. Do subscribe if you haven’t already!

How to Move

a body-neutral guide to exercise

By Anna Maltby

In case you missed it…

Twenty years ago, you couldn’t move for articles about superfoods. As a fresh-faced young journalist in 2005, I worked on the launch of Grazia, and we were obsessed with blueberries. Like, obsessed. Blueberries would make us glow forever and never get ill, no matter how much wine we drank after work.

These days, we’re all more sensible than that. Instead of buying expensive fresh punnets of blueberries, I add frozen ones to my breakfast with a bunch of other berries and apple and seeds and a drizzle of almond butter and a dollop of kefir. Because now we know the key to good nutrition is variety.

(I knowzzzzzzz, apologies to those still searching for that quick fix.)

The superfood backlash in recent years has been thanks to doctors and dietitians getting the message out there that fixating on specific foods is not ideal when we should be aiming for diversity of nutrients. This is a good thing.

BUT.

Recently I’ve noticed a comeback, and I’m not against it. After all, adding a few particularly nutrient-dense “super” foods to your shopping basket, along with the knowledge that they don’t work in a vacuum, can’t hurt, right?

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The 2026 superfood I keep hearing about? Baobab.

It’s a fruit with seven times more fibre than oats and six times more vitamin C than oranges. Unrooted is a lovely brand that sells baobab shots, so you can combine it with ginger, turmeric or super greens. Hopefully you’ll be doing this to complement your other healthy habits rather than “cancel out” less healthy ones, as I used to do with blueberries.

It’s tasty and nutritious but, in the grand tradition of superfoods, it ain’t cheap.

Here’s where I want to mention one superfood that is very affordable, easily accessible and extremely versatile.

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Beans!

Wait, come back. Beans are not boring. They are a genuine superfood.

If I was a nutritionist, I’d say “legumes”, which is not a word that anyone uses in the normal world. It simply means anything that pops out of a pod, so peas, obviously. But also black beans, cannellini beans, butter beans, borlotti beans, kidney beans, broad beans, as well as chickpeas, lentils (yes, they grow in pods too), soybeans and even peanuts.

They are packed with fibre, plant protein and nutrients, but recent evidence is showing even more surprising benefits.

Dr Nadia Radzman’s research at Cambridge has shown that broad beans can literally make us happier. “They have this molecule called L-DOPA, a precursor to dopamine, the neurotransmitter that makes us happy,” she says. “Clinical studies have shown that if people with a particular type of depression due to frontal lobe inflammation consume L-DOPA, it can actually eliminate one of the major symptoms of depression: anhedonia, the inability to experience joy or pleasure. So if we consume more broad beans that contain L-DOPA, hopefully this could improve our mood and also our mental health.”

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Meanwhile, nutritionist Karen Newby says that certain beans can blunt the highs and lows of menstrual cycles and perimenopause, by calming anxiety and regulating fluctuations in oestrogen and progesterone.

“All beans are a great source of fibre, which supports our ‘second brain’, the gut,” she says. “Our gut produces over 80% of the body’s serotonin, which is all about happiness.” She adds that black beans are a source of magnesium and chickpeas contain zinc, both of which are great for calming anxiety and overwhelm.

You may have heard that soybeans are rich in phytoestrogens, which can have an oestrogen-like effect on the body; particularly helpful for mood regulation in the run-up to your period or in perimenopause. But if you’re concerned about breast cancer (as I know lots of Well Well Well subscribers are) then you probably recoil at any mention of oestrogen. After all, around 70% of breast cancers are driven by oestrogen. Surely it’s dangerous to add it to your diet?

Newby says this concern is understandable, but unfounded.

“The isoflavones in soybeans act as modulators of oestrogen, so can be protective,” she says. “They are safe to eat if you have had breast cancer or a history of breast cancer. This goes for all other phytoestrogen-rich plants such as flaxseed, which contain lignans (a type of phytoestrogen).”

She adds that she would avoid supplement forms of these nutrients, as there isn’t any data to show safety in super high dosages. But in food form: tofu, tempeh, soy milk and edamame are not only safe, but beneficial. Reassuring for those of us who don’t eat meat, since soy is one of the very best forms of plant protein.

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A handy little cheat sheet of which legume is best for what

Best for protein
Soybeans, usually bought as edamame or made into tofu or tempeh, are “a complete protein”, which means they contain all the essential amino acids.

Best for fibre
Lentils are a great choice if you’re looking for both fibre and protein, which all of us should be tbf. Black beans, chickpeas and kidney beans run a close second.

Best for iron
Chickpeas. If you don’t eat meat, load up on chickpea curry, and add lots of red pepper for vitamin C, to support iron absorption.

Best for heart health
Kidney beans. A great combination of soluble fibre, phytosterols, saponins and polyphenols that helps lower cholesterol.

Best for brain health
Chickpeas and lentils are sources of folate, iron and B6 to support neurotransmitter production and cognitive function.

Best for mood
Broad beans contain L-DOPA, a biochemical compound that converts into dopamine in the body.

Best for immunity
The humble green pea is highest in vitamin C, but a special mention must go to chickpeas and lentils here too, since they contain zinc: vital for immune support.

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Fun fact: legumes also improve soil health by taking nitrogen from the air and turning it into a form that plants can use in the ground. A natural fertilising process! So yes, they basically save the planet too.

That sounds pretty super to me.

This week I’m…

Making the most of the intermittent sunshine by tucking into Karen Newby’s white bean salad with tahini dressing

Then hunkering down with the very best baked beans when it starts to rain again

Getting more bean-related ideas from the Melissa Hemsley-hosted Bang in Some Beans podcast

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In case you missed it…

Can you think yourself healthy? Could many chronic ailments be all in the sufferer’s head? Does adopting a positive, forgiving, optimistic mindset increase your chances of happiness and success in everything from work and relationships to physical and emotional wellbeing?

If the above paragraph makes you shudder, you probably assume I’m about to tell you that the reason you’re not rich/successful/happy/well is because of your own bothersome brain. Well… I am and I aren’t.

If you’ve been a subscriber for a while, you’ll know I think manifestation and spirituality can have theoretical benefits - as long as they’re approached with curiosity rather than desperation or guilt. But this month I’ve been reading a book that has completely reframed how I think about all this.

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Beyond Belief by Nir Eyal and Julie Li uses the latest neuroscience and psychology research to show how our hidden assumptions filter what we see, what we attempt and what we achieve. The message is actually very similar to many manifesting books: shifting your beliefs and removing self-imposed limitations can improve your life. It’s just that, like neuroscientist Dr Tara Swart before him, Eyal uses real science to explain how it works in the brain.

On the Modern Wisdom podcast last week, Eyal was keen to distance himself from manifesting. “I hate to burst anybody’s bubble, but nothing is vibrating and quantum whatevering,” he said. “The universe really doesn’t give a shit.” But then he added: “I’ll give that crowd some credit. All the manifesting stuff can work, just not for the reasons they say it does.”

What I’m hearing is that, while he hates the idea of agreeing with airy-fairy manifesting nonsense, the science suggests those techniques (inconveniently for the cynics) actually work.

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When I saw another book, The Power of Beliefs by Shawn Achor, coming out in May on exactly this subject, the journalist in me immediately thought: ooh, three’s a trend. I just need one more and I can write about it. But then, trawling through my spring reading pile, it dawned on me that many of them are saying the same thing in one way or another.

Already a bestseller in France, Your Optimal Health by Dr Emilie Steinbach comes out in the UK next month. In it, she explains how negative thought patterns naturally dominate, but neuroplasticity allows us to rewire the brain through repeated small habits. She also shows that two people can live the same day and interpret it completely differently, meaning the “story” we tell ourselves shapes our confidence, resilience and wellbeing.

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Also out in May is Healthy Shouldn’t Be This Hard by Sarah Ann Macklin, which focuses on the internal monologue underpinning our habits. She argues that many of us are stuck in a loop of low-level self-criticism — so subtle we barely notice it — yet it drives everything from stress to poor food choices to burnout.

Then there’s Prioritise This by Lily Silverton; perhaps the most practical of the lot. Her central idea is that your life reflects what you prioritise, and most of us are prioritising the wrong things. Not in a lofty sense, but in small daily moments where we spiral, doomscroll or berate ourselves instead of pausing, breathing or going outside.

What she does particularly well is acknowledge that you can’t just snap your fingers and “think positive”. Sometimes your brain is anxious because your life is genuinely stressful. The trick is not to override those thoughts, but gently redirect them, choosing a slightly more useful perspective, and repeating it until it sticks.

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This repetition is key, and it reminded me of my conversation last month with Dr Majid Fotuhi, a neuroscience professor and author of The Invincible Brain. He told me that mindset underpins all his advice on sleep, exercise, stress and nutrition. If you tell yourself you’re on a slippery slope to losing your mind, you probably will be.

He cited studies showing that people with positive beliefs about ageing have a lower risk of cognitive decline, and explained how repeated thought patterns can strengthen or weaken neural connections. In other words: your attitude to life is a key variable for good health - and one that’s often overlooked.

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At this point, even the most hardened sceptic has to concede that something interesting is going on. These books are describing the same mechanism from different angles.

Your thoughts shape what you notice and how you behave; your behaviours reinforce those thoughts; and over time, this becomes your mood, your health and your identity.

If you believe you’re the kind of person who always fails, you’ll notice evidence everywhere. If you believe you’re capable of change, you’ll notice opportunities instead. If you believe stress is destroying you, your body will respond accordingly. If you believe it’s manageable (even useful sometimes?) you’ll cope better.

None of this is to say illness is imaginary, or that people can simply think themselves out of serious conditions. Before anyone accuses me of magical thinking, I accepted all the chemo I was offered for breast cancer in 2021. It saved my life, and I do not believe I could have visualised my way out of that one.

But it is to say that the way we think about our health, habits and identities might be more important than we’ve given it credit for.

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So back to your bothersome brain. First of all, it’s functioning perfectly. Looking for worst-case scenarios is what it’s designed to do. That’s how it keeps us safe.

The good news is there’s plenty we can do to improve our thoughts and beliefs.

The even better news is that, regardless of any long-term benefits, these shifts can make you feel better right now, today.

Willing to try? Here are 10 ways to start this week…

1. Deliberately misinterpret something annoying
Find one thing, such as an abrupt email or a friend leaving you on read, and come up with three non-negative explanations. They don’t have to be mega-positive, just not hostile. Your colleague/friend is busy and stressed. Most of the time, it’s not about you.

2. Set a failure quota
Aim for a certain number of rejections or awkward attempts. It sounds odd, but it basically transforms failure from a reason to stop into evidence that you’re trying. This makes you far more likely to keep going.

3. Have higher expectations
Before a long meeting or a social event you’re dreading, tell yourself: “This might be easier than I think” or “There will be one good moment.” Your brain is guessing anyway (usually negatively) so you may as well guide it.

4. Shrink the problem
When overwhelmed, identify what you can’t control (most of it) and find one small thing you can. Then do that thing immediately. Sending one email might feel tiny, but it’s about telling your brain that you’re not powerless.

5. Run a 10-minute competence rehearsal
Mentally walk through your day and imagine things going well. You don’t have to imagine your best day ever, just see yourself being calm and competent. Visualisation works because it gives your brain a template to work with.

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6. Collect evidence against your neggy narrative
Negative beliefs such as “I’m rubbish at this” or “I always mess up” are a hypothesis, so gather evidence to disprove them. Notice when you do well, and ideally write it down. Beliefs shift when your brain sees evidence to the contrary.

7. Make healthy habits convenient
Put a bag of nuts in the cupboard you usually keep the crisps; keep a novel where you normally keep your phone; have kombucha in the fridge instead of wine; save a meditation app on your home screen where social media used to be. These things tell your brain: this is who we are now.

8. Stop trying to fix the chaos
Your life isn’t about to magically become easy and organised. Resilient people don’t eliminate chaos; they simply learn to function within it. It feels weirdly calming to stop fighting against an annoying reality. As they say on Love Island, it is what it is.

9. Re-label your stress in real time
When your heart rate spikes and your breath quickens, instead of thinking “I’m overwhelmed”, try saying “this is my body preparing me to cope”. Or even: “I’m excited.” It’s the same bodily sensations, but you’re giving them a different meaning, reducing the sense of threat and making you more capable of coping.

10. End the day by editing the story
Your brain loves to ruminate on what went wrong throughout the day, so override it. Before bed, consciously recall what went well, what you enjoyed and, if not too cringe, what you’re grateful for. Over time, this more positive interpretation of your reality might even become your default.

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In some ways, Nir Eyal is right: the universe probably doesn’t care what you do. But your brain does.

And if changing the way you interpret, anticipate and act makes you feel even slightly calmer, more capable and less doomy, then frankly I’m not sure we need to argue about the mechanism.

Just try it, see how you feel, and please do let me know.

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This week I’m…

Reading Helen Thorn’s utterly galvanising How to Face Big Change and Come Back Stronger (and not just because I’m in it!)

Booking in for a massage, having learned that my favourite magnesium butter brand has teamed up with one of the best spas in London to create The Sweet Bee Magnesium Massage

Actually really enjoying the British version of Saturday Night Live. My favourite sketch was the Hamnet one, which I can’t find online, but I did also enjoy the British-themed pub song (watch to the end for added Jamie Dornan)

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In case you missed it…

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Hormones used to be these shadowy chemical dictators that none of us really understood. They were in control, and all we could do was surrender to being unusually tired, hungry, grumpy or just plain “hormonal”.

But times have changed. These days, most of us have at least a rough idea of what our hormones do, and how to get them on our side. We know a few simple tricks actually work: breathing techniques can steady a spike of cortisol (the stress hormone), morning daylight helps balance melatonin (the sleep hormone), and strength training supports testosterone (the hormone of energy and libido in both genders).

Food is one of the easiest ways to keep your hormones happy. And yes, I’m highly sceptical of most of those “hormone hacking” fads. No one needs to do “seed cycling” (all seeds are good, at any time of the month). But don’t let some of the loony advice out there put you off paying attention to what you put on your plate.

I’m handing over this edition of Well Well Well to nutritional health coach Lauren Chambers, whose Substack Hormone Healthy Eats is full of inspiration and delicious recipes for eating in a way that your hormones will love. As she celebrates the publication of her new book, here’s Lauren’s story - and do read to the end for her hormone-healthy eating cheat sheet. Enjoy!

Lauren Chambers

Nutrition + Hormone Health Coach. Mom of 3 girls. Obsessed with delicious, nutrient-dense recipes that balance hormones, support your cycle & help you feel your best.

“For over a decade, beginning as a senior in high school and all through my 20s, I was a chronic dieter, obsessed with my weight. I loved food, but I also grew up in the 1990s, when low-calorie and fat-free was all the rage. I spent much of my adolescence and 20s following a plethora of fad diets (Atkins, anyone?!) and consuming supposedly healthy ultra-processed foods. I’d white-knuckle it between the Lean Cuisines and Luna Bars that did nothing to satisfy my hunger while pushing myself through gruelling workouts and running almost every day.

I did stay skinny - but the cost was my health and happiness. Eventually, the lack of nutrients and the stress I put my body under brought on symptoms ranging from hair loss, acne and bloating to weight gain. I also lost my period for two years — and when it returned, it was extremely heavy and painful. It wasn’t until I learned about my menstrual cycle and how to support my hormonal fluctuations during each phase that my health, symptoms and life really changed.

We know that, as women in our reproductive years, our hormones aren’t static like men’s, but rather fluctuate throughout a 28-day (give or take) cycle. Once I honoured those shifts with nutrients, workouts and lifestyle habits, everything in my life became so much easier.

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Food is to our hormones what gas is to a car, fuelling them to regulate metabolism, appetite, energy and so much more.

In my practice, I would see female clients skipping breakfast or just having coffee in an effort to practise intermittent fasting. But under-eating is a well-researched cause of hormonal disruption, leading to a decrease in oestrogen and progesterone production and a shortened luteal phase, making it especially difficult for those trying to conceive. Not to mention mood swings, intense cravings and dysregulated blood sugar.

Ultimately, to live a symptom-free and higher-quality life, we have to break free of diet culture with its mentality of restrictive punishment or deprivation, and instead focus on what the research reiterates time and time again: eating an abundance of nutrient-dense food to support our unique biology and hormonal rhythms.

Focusing on nourishing whole foods, including protein, fats and fibre, ensures you’re providing your body with the raw materials it needs to produce healthy hormones, as well as optimising digestion, regulating blood sugar, boosting good gut bacteria and effectively eliminating toxins.

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Instead of thinking of all the foods you need to eliminate to “be healthy,” think of foods you can add to your plate that will fuel your hormones. For example, could you add more protein to your breakfast by scrambling eggs with cottage cheese? Or add more fibre to your burger with avocado and a side of sweet potato? Maybe add good fat to your salad by drizzling it with extra virgin olive oil, or more minerals to your yoghurt by sprinkling it with nuts and seeds? This perspective is so much more enjoyable than taking away foods we love, and is key for reducing stress and building sustainable eating habits.

Incorporating this mindset will help you build a strong foundation, but you’ve got to tailor it all to your unique preferences, lifestyle and needs. What works well for one person may not work well for another. If something just doesn’t work for you (whether time-wise, taste-wise or budget-wise), it’s highly unlikely that you’ll follow through with it. And if you don’t take consistent action, you won’t get results. Please take this into account when approaching any other nutrition advice floating around out there. You know your body best, and if something doesn’t feel right or work well for you, honour it above all else.

Finding joy, pleasure and gratitude in preparing and eating meals is an underrated pillar of good health. When we approach food in this way it’s so much easier to make long-term, sustainable changes for real results. It’s not “following a diet,” it’s a lifestyle.

So figure out what you like, what you have the capacity for, and what feels right for you. Eat food that brings you joy, in a way that helps you feel your best, and you’ll not only find yourself feeling so much more nourished and satisfied, but also living a more fun, fulfilling and beautiful life… and isn’t that kind of the point?”

Hormone Healthy Eats: 100 Recipes to Balance Your Hormones, Support Your Cycle, and Feel Your Absolute Best by Lauren Chambers is out now

Lauren’s Hormone-Healthy Eating Cheat Sheet

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Back in December, I wrote about the reckoning in people pleasing that is coming this year. And at the forefront of this revolution is author Poorna Bell, whose new book She Wanted More: Reimagine your future and live by your rules is all about putting yourself first for once.
This week’s Well Well Well is a conversation with Poorna that I hope will inspire and galvanise you to take steps towards the life you want (rather than the life you think you should want, or the life that others want for you, or the life that you think others want for you… anyway, you get the gist).

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Poorna, what would you say to those who flinch at the idea of wanting “more”, as if it’s greedy or ungrateful?

“The brilliant author Marian Keyes summarised this perfectly. She said that women are conditioned to be of service to their loved ones, to the extent that they sacrifice a lot of their own time, which could be spent doing things they feel passionately about, that give them joy. Reclaiming that isn’t selfish. Not giving ourselves the permission to do so only ends up hurting us - and why would we want to do that, when we would never knowingly hurt others? In society, the expectation is that women care more than men and I just don’t buy into that. There are hormonal differences, sure, but there isn’t a specific gene that dictates nurture. I’m not suggesting that women don’t take joy from looking after their loved ones - but who is looking after them? Who is telling them that it’s okay to change their expectations or to make different life choices? Society isn’t wired that way. That’s why you have to take it for yourself because no one is going to hand it to you.”

How do we hold onto that joy, and not turn personal growth into another unpaid, exhausting job?

“If I say to you that we need more joy, and that is interpreted as something we have to add, rather than subtract, we need to confront that thinking. In the book, I write that wanting more doesn’t mean doing more. Often it can mean doing less, and perhaps it means the other people around you doing more, and you expecting more from them. For some, joy might mean taking on a hobby, for others it literally might mean cancelling things so they can read a book or just lie on the sofa. I just don’t want women to live their lives in endless toil, on autopilot.”

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You talk about “weeding”, ie. removing what drains us. What’s a weed that many women tolerate?

“So many but, if I had to identify the biggest one, it is the endless bullshit that what you look like is the most important thing about you - whether your body size or how old you look. I understand why we do it - the pressure is relentless and often inescapable, but if you don’t weed it out you will expend huge amounts of energy wasting time trying to get a version of yourself that doesn’t exist. You’re constantly told that if you’re thin enough or young-looking enough, the world will accept and love you. Last time I checked, we live in a patriarchy so whatever world you’re trying to get acceptance in, that world doesn’t exist either.”

We’re the same age, and there are lots of things I don’t love about getting older(!) but what’s something that has surprised you in a good way?

“The confidence I feel in what I do for work, the amount of general life things I know by this age, and how wonderful and solid that feels. The other day I was at a fashion PR event, full of young people who don’t talk to each other and everyone is aloof and distant. Normally that would’ve made me feel like I was back in school, but I just gave myself a pep talk: ‘You’re forty fucking five, you don’t have anything to prove, or any reason to pretend to be anything other than yourself’. And so even though I didn’t know anyone at the table, I cracked jokes, I was myself and it made them feel like they could be themselves too. One woman said, ‘I’m glad I sat at this table’, and that was EVERYTHING.”

What’s a small change that can have a surprisingly big impact on how free someone feels?

“Everyone is different and there are hard things to navigate, from children to caring for elderly parents. But try asking yourself what you can do to reduce cognitive load. For me, that’s decision-making. It might be how I socialise - for instance, I don’t have to be the one to choose the restaurant or book it. I don’t mean that in a Mel Robbins ‘Let Them’ kind of way. It’s being consciously aware of what I have capacity for. Other things include doing certain types of activities - if I need to reduce cognitive load I’m not doing jiu jitsu or cross fit. I’m swimming or walking. Even books - I don’t need to read something heavy. It can be beautiful, easy mush. All of that collectively creates space. So how can you create space right now?”

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A lot of wellness culture sells serenity as the goal. Your book contains rage, mess, desire and joy all at once. How do you balance all that with calm?

“Calm and serenity come with being able to express your rage, and to pursue joy. A big part of it is removing chaos and that might include people. It definitely includes me not meddling in people’s lives or giving unsolicited advice like I used to. I don’t go into it thinking I want to be calm - it happens as a result of my choices, and removing chaos.”

How do you hope women feel after reading She Wanted More, and what action would you love them to do next?

“I would love women to feel hope, especially if they’re feeling stuck. I want them to realise that things can change at any time, so why not make that change one you’ve chosen with your heart?”

If a reader is thinking “Yes, but it’s too late for me”, what would you say to her?

“The only time it is too late, is when your time with this mortal coil has ended. I have seen people find peace, love, adventure, excitement right up to the time they die. Don’t ever believe it’s too late to learn something new, to make a different choice.”

As I Was Saying with Poorna Bell

Social commentary and essays from career to mental wellbeing, capturing the general WTF of life and topical news, by award-winning author, former HuffPost Exec editor and lifter of heavy weights, Poorna Bell.

This week I’m…

So impressed with Chefs in Schools, who are on a mission to get more fresh whole foods into our kids. I interviewed the amazing Amber Francis last year, and their new campaign is about encouraging schools to implement Try Something New Tuesdays, a quick and easy way to get kids trying new foods. Support them if you can.

Discovering one brilliant way to get kids to eat (and cook!) healthy meals. Mindful Chef recipe boxes are so easy and convenient, with step-by-step instructions to creating veg-packed meals in no time.

But still finding time to cook from Dominique Luwig’s gorgeous new book, No Nonsense Nutrition. The sweet potato and feta frittata is *chef’s kiss*.

In case you missed it…

Do you have an idea for a new food, drink or wellness brand that could revolutionise the market? So many people have the entrepreneurial itch, but they don’t know where to start, and often find themselves frustrated to see someone else bring a similar idea to life a few months later.

I’m lucky enough to meet many incredible founders through my work, so I asked some of the best for their tips on building a brand from the ground up. If that’s your dream, bookmark this advice (and remember me when you’re a badass CEO).

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Julia Baldet is the founder of functional smoothie bar Elevate
“Be incredibly clear, not only on your vision, but also why you’re the right person to build it. I came from an investment banking background. While I understood numbers and investors, I lacked practical, operational experience. So I took a barista job at Joe & The Juice for two months, to learn the ropes properly and be able to answer any objections with real experience. In the early days of Elevate, I did everything - opening, closing, serving customers - because being on the ground teaches you what actually needs improving. I break big goals into tiny, manageable steps and track them obsessively. And when it came to fundraising, there was no magic trick; I messaged hundreds of people on LinkedIn, kept spreadsheets of potential investors, tailored every note, and just kept going.”

Emma Thackray is co-founder of Hip Pop kombucha, real fruit sodas and CBD drinks
“Get real-life feedback as soon as you can, while you are developing your products. We spent the first couple of years of Hip Pop selling at markets and indie delis, understanding what everyday people actually want to drink, what they like and what they don’t like. By the time we were sitting in front of buyers at the multiples [large supermarket chains], we’d tried and tested the product many, many times. That real-life insight into taste has benefitted us in spades.”

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Catie Miller is the founder of Barre Series, studio and on-demand barre workouts
“Build something that genuinely reflects how you live, not how you think you should live, and not what’s trending on Instagram. Especially in wellness, your projection has to match your ethos. People can feel the difference between something curated and something embodied. If you’re not living the philosophy behind your brand, it becomes performance and performance is exhausting.
I’d also say: focus on depth before scale. Serve a small community exceptionally well. Listen to them, evolve with them and let integrity shape your growth. Community is built in conversation, not broadcast. And finally, don’t shy away from the commercial side. Wellness can be heart-led, but it still needs structure. Understand your numbers to build something financially sustainable. Clarity, authenticity and staying in your lane will take you much further than chasing trends.”

Catherine Hurley is the founder of New Road 30, gut supplement
“Launching a brand requires focus and conviction. Be aware of the market, but don’t let it distract you from your vision, and build something you genuinely believe in rather than chasing a perceived gap. Start sooner than you think you’re able to. Perfection can slow you down, and real progress comes from getting your product out there and learning from feedback. Listen closely to customers, retailers, and partners, and stay adaptable as you grow. Finally, seek out fellow founders - most of them are generous with advice, insights, and connections that can make all the difference.”

Jane Beaman is co-founder of Sciene wellbeing clinic in North London
“You don’t know what you don’t know - until it bites you. Get trusted, professional help early on. Find a mentor, a proper HR adviser and a strong accountant, and ask them for a clear checklist of essentials. Having that framework in place doesn’t just protect your business, but it also protects your own wellbeing. It removes unnecessary anxiety and allows you to focus on growing something you’re proud of, rather than constantly firefighting.”

Rebecca Young is co-founder of The Estate Dairy, a B Corp-certified producer of unhomogenised craft milk, cream, butter and yoghurt
“When we started the business, we thought growth meant saying yes to everything. We needed the cash flow, we needed the credibility, and I didn’t want to admit there was anything we couldn’t handle. So we overcommitted, constantly. Very quickly, we had more orders than we could physically supply. We were firefighting every week, juggling production, apologising for delays, promising we’d fix it next time. I remember feeling sick with stress more than once, wondering whether we’d pushed too far, too fast. I had to learn the hard way that ambition without boundaries isn’t bravery, it’s just recklessness. Having limits aren’t a weakness, they’re what protect the business, our team, and our sanity!”

Sarah Vachon is co-founder of Citizens of Soil sustainable, small-batch extra virgin olive oil
“Start by doing founder one-to-ones. Most of us don’t know what we’re doing at the start, and certainly none of us has all the answers. But collectively, there’s a lot you can learn from different entrepreneurs. So many recommendations for tools, commercial decisions, and suppliers have come from these valuable discussions. The best way for me has always been to find other founders who are also starting up like you (but ideally a little further along) and make friends. Being a founder can be lonely, especially at the start when it’s just you. But even as busy as those days can be, you’ll be surprised how many people will give you their time for a regular check-in.”

Amelia Christie-Miller is the founder of Bold Bean Co jarred beans and chickpeas
“Being a female founder comes with so many contradictions. You’re expected to be strong and soft. Bold and humble. All at once. It’s hard but I’ve learned not to fight the feminine characteristics that society tells you is weak, but make them my superpower.”

Anna Samuels is co-founder of Boxx and Reform Room fitness studios
“The three most important things for me are:
1. Finance: Cash flow gives you options. We learned this the hard way with our first studio, Boxx in East London. Having cash in the business buys you breathing room when things don’t go to plan (and they won’t), so be conservative early, protect your runway, and avoid overcommitting before demand is proven.
2. Mindset: Passion is essential, but not enough on its own. Without a willingness to take calculated risks, you’ll never get started, but risk without passion won’t carry you through the tough days. The sweet spot is caring deeply about what you’re building, while staying grounded enough to make tough decisions.
3. Reaching your audience: Your ‘why’ is what connects you to others. People want to understand what you stand for and who is behind the brand. You don’t need to be an influencer, but being willing to show your face makes a huge difference. This was something that took me nearly six years to feel comfortable doing with Boxx and, even now, I don’t love the camera. But with Reform Room, I made a conscious decision to do this from the outset, and the difference in how quickly people connected with the brand has been huge. Even a few honest words from the founder can help people feel invested in your journey.”

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This week I’m…

Having the self-awareness to know that signing up for a “challenge” will actually make me do the thing. The perfect example: Barre Series 28-Day Microbiome Reset, which combines barre movement with nutrition advice and mindset tweaks to get us feeling a bit less Februuuuughry and a bit more “spring is coming!”
The programme is usually £9.99, but paid subscribers can access it completely free with the code below.

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I had a feature in the Telegraph at the weekend about Owning Your Menopause, the programme from fitness trainer Kate Rowe-Ham that helped ease my symptoms of crash menopause. In it, I was up at 6.30am doing strength training, eating a protein- and fibre-rich diet (even persuading my children to eat black beans, which frankly deserves a medal), and enjoying the kind of serene evenings where I do yoga with my eight-year-old and everyone is inexplicably calm.

Since it ran, I’ve had endless messages, emails, DMs - all variations on a theme.
Gah, this is exactly what I need to be doing.
I was quite good at strength training for a while but I’ve really let it slide.
I’d love to do something like that, but I could never keep it up.

So I think it’s important to be honest about the fact that, this week, I have done precisely zero strength-training sessions. Despite still having access to the programme. Despite knowing how go…

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As January limps towards a close, I’ve been reading a lot about ways to be healthier in 2026. People who complain about such advice being overwhelming at this time of year are slightly missing the point. Clearly, nobody’s expecting you to do all of it. The idea is to pick and choose the ideas that speak to you, that could fit into your life with ease, and might actually be fun.

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The 2026 wellness trend that most appeals to me is

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Feeling as though you’ve missed the boat on new year’s resolutions, goals and manifestations? Fear not: we all know the real start to the new year comes after we’ve had some recovery time in January. Personally, I like to choose a different day to be the start of my “new year”. Sometimes I choose the first new moon of the year, but that was on Sunday, so oops.

There’s still the full moon on 1 February, or the Lunar New Year on 17 February, for those who like a good six weeks to settle into a year before tackling our life goals. Far more civilised, right?

As for those resolutions, it’s easy to spiral into “I want to get stronger” but also “I need to fix my circadian rhythm” and then “I’ll give up sugar” but also “how can I beat overwhelm??”

So I asked the authors of 8 of the best new health and wellness books for simple, doable ways to feel good this year.

From gut health advice by Dr Will Bulsiewicz, to stress and mindset insights from Dr Rangan Chatterjee, plus wisdom from Shahroo Izadi, Dominique Ludwig, Suzy Reading and more, these ideas are small, science-backed and genuinely doable. Pick one or two and know that you’re on the right track. Small changes seriously compound over time, and these ideas actually work.

Try them, and you’ll be all set up for your healthiest and happiest year yet.

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Dr Will Bulsiewicz, author of Plant Powered Plus: Activate the Power of Your Gut to Tame Inflammation and Reclaim Your Health

“If you follow my work, you’re probably expecting me to say ‘eat 30 plants per week’. And yes, that remains a cornerstone of gut health and something I’ve been teaching for nearly a decade.
But here’s a lesson that often surprises people, especially those with a sensitive gut: you can start healing your gut without lifting a fork.
When digestion is fragile, the gut and immune system are under strain. In that state, even well-intentioned food changes can backfire. So start with consistent sleep timing and consistent meal timing. Regular rhythms help calm the gut-brain-immune axis, improve motility, and signal safety to the nervous system. That’s where healing begins.
Try this: for 7 days, eat your first and last meal at roughly the same time each day, and aim for a consistent bedtime, even on weekends. Give your gut at least 12 hours of rest between your last meal and your first. This creates a daily, predictable pattern that allows your gut to get into a rhythm. Many people notice calmer digestion and better energy. You should feel the difference, and when you do, you will know that you’re onto something that’s worth prioritising.”

Dr Catherine Clinton, author of Optimize: A Groundbreaking 7-Step Plan to Health and Longevity Through Quantum Biology

“Starting your day with natural light outside helps balance hormones, neurotransmitters, metabolism, and the immune system. Getting outside within an hour of waking, and getting in the natural light environment of the season has a dramatic effect on our overall biology and health.”

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Dr Rangan Chatterjee, author of Happy Mind, Happy Life: 10 Simple Ways to Feel Great Every Day

“Too much choice brings major happiness downsides. This is because every single decision takes cognitive effort. And the more options we’re given, the less confident we’ll be that we’ve chosen the best one. Every time you can’t decide what film to watch or which meal to order at a restaurant, you’re adding to your day’s stress load. So evaluate your own lifestyle and see where and how often you’re making choices. Then honestly ask yourself: how many of these choices are really necessary? Once you’ve identified that, you can start eliminating certain choices from your life. Even one small change - such as settling on a morning routine, or picking a playlist - will start to yield results and you can jettison more choices over time.”

Shahroo Izadi, author of How Diets Make Us Fat: The Book the Diet Industry Doesn’t Want You to Read

“When it comes to reclaiming power over our choices and unlearning what diet culture taught us, knowing it was messed-up isn’t enough. Knowing you can technically eat whatever you want isn’t enough. Even knowing why you want to change - for really important reasons - doesn’t do the heavy lifting we think it will.
Because keeping up new habits is hard. We should expect it to be, until we’ve repeated them a few times in a row. When we’re adjusting to doing things differently, it can be difficult to see the uncomfortable choices that move us toward our meaningful long-term goals as “kind” ones.
So when you’re met with a challenging moment, try defining it by asking yourself:
1. What would I tell someone I love to do right now?
2. What would I do if someone I respect was watching me?
3. What will I be proud of myself for having done tomorrow?”

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Jake Humphrey, co-author of Micro-Habits: Tiny Changes That Supercharge High Performance

“Pay yourself first. At the start of a week, look at your diary and find all the opportunities that exist to do the stuff you love. From walking the dog to hugging your partner to doing some cooking. Life is full of urgent moments that get in the way of the important moments. If we don’t schedule the important moments, then they don’t happen and suddenly we are living a life devoid of the things that bring us joy. So do it: pay yourself first.”

Dominique Ludwig, author of No-Nonsense Nutrition: The Science-based Plan to Transform Health, Lose Weight, Feel Amazing

“My Triple 30 principle means aiming for 30g protein per meal, 30g fibre per day, and over 30 different plants each week. Protein and fibre are a powerful combination, with a meaningful impact on blood sugar regulation, hunger and fullness signals - meaning fewer cravings, steadier energy, improved mood and easier weight maintenance.
Start each day with a balanced breakfast of protein and fibre (such as yoghurt, nuts, seeds and fruit). This supports energy and focus in the morning, but the benefits extend much further. When appetite is more stable earlier in the day, we naturally make better choices at later meals. Food quality improves, meals become more nutrient dense, and we simply feel better.”

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Jeffrey Boadi, author of Plant Fuel: 80 Easy and Energising Recipes Packed With Protein and Fibre

“Shift your mindset to the 80:20 lifestyle approach - meaning that 80% of the time you are dialled in: consuming whole foods, moving your body and prioritising your sleep. But 20% of the time there is flexibility. That means not feeling guilty about a meal or beverage that is a little off-plan, or a late night with friends. On social media, it can seem like we have to nail everything 100% to be healthy, but it’s entirely possible to prioritise your health, while occasionally going with the ebb and flow of life. From a nutrition standpoint, the 80:20 approach would mean that 80% of your meals are cooked from home. So let’s say you have 21 meals a week: 17 of those ideally would be made at home, and the rest allows for flexibility. This is a far more realistic approach for the vast majority of people.”

Suzy Reading, author of How to Be Selfish: 7 Steps to Taking Back Your Power

“This is a daily ritual to come home to self. Pair it with drinking your savoured cup of coffee or tea, and it can be a powerful way to remember to check in with yourself.
Tenderly place a hand on your heart, feeling how this brings you home to your body and grounds you in the moment. With your hand on your heart, take a few sips, noticing how this heightens the sensory experience of drinking. Take another sip and ask yourself: where am I at? Without judgement, connect with yourself - head, heart and body. Follow it up with: what do I need? Having checked in, either tend to yourself or reach out for the support you need, because people need other people too.
Repeat this often and feel how this connection with self helps you advocate for yourself, boosting your wellbeing and the health of your relationships.”

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This week I’m…

Continuing to be inspired by the powerhouse that is Train With Joan

Reassuring myself about everything from protein to friendships by listening to Am I Doing It Wrong? the podcast exploring every anxiety we have about our lives

Interested to know what everybody else thinks about hyperbaric oxygen therapy? Let me know!

Forcing myself out of the house to exercise for my mood

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In case you missed it…

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It was my 14th wedding anniversary this week. We celebrated with a dreamy dinner and a child-free night away — the sort of escape that feels impossibly glamorous when normal evenings involve watching Traitors and repeatedly asking “have you brushed your teeth?” (Side note: we still watched Traitors 😂)

Coincidentally, this week was also the five-year anniversary of the day I was told I had breast cancer. That milestone I completely ignored. Why acknowledge something so bleak? I didn’t post about it, I didn’t light a candle, I didn’t even really think about it - at least, not in any deliberate, ceremonial way.

But then I started to realise: the fact that I am cancer-free, five years on, is something to celebrate. It’s not the diagnosis I’m honouring, but the distance I’ve travelled from it.

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We tend to save celebrations for glossy milestones: weddings or birthdays ending in a zero. But the quieter anniversaries - survival dates, sobriety dates, the day you left that job you hated - those matter too. And there’s good evidence that marking them is far more than an Instagram inspirational post. It’s genuinely good for our health.

Here’s why:

1. Celebrating creates positive emotions. I mean yeah, that sounds obvious, but most of us move through our days in a blur of tasks. Deliberately pausing to mark a milestone generates feelings of gratitude, pride, connection and relief. These are known as glimmers - and they’re strongly associated with lower stress hormones, better cardiovascular health, and improved immune function.

2. It helps us make meaning. Humans are natural storytellers. We like beginnings, middles, and ends. Anniversaries help organise our lives into coherent narratives instead of endless to-do lists. When you look back at “five years since diagnosis” or “one year in a new city,” you’re acknowledging growth, loss, resilience and change. It helps transform “that terrible thing that happened” into “that chapter that shaped me.”

3. It strengthens social connection. Anniversaries are lovely, legitimate reasons to gather people, or send a “thinking of you” message. And connection is one of the biggest predictors of both physical and emotional wellbeing. People with strong social ties tend to live longer, recover faster, and cope better with stress.

4. It grounds us in the present moment. Rituals have a way of slowing time. Lighting a candle or raising a toast pulls us out of autopilot and into right now. Given that chronic busyness and distraction are practically their own public health issues, anything that encourages presence is worth leaning into.

5. Finally, marking milestones boosts motivation and behaviour change. Psychologists talk about the “fresh start effect”: we’re more likely to set goals and stick to healthy habits after landmarks (birthdays, new years, even Mondays) because they create psychological punctuation. When you celebrate an anniversary, you’re not just looking back; you’re also looking forward and thinking, “what next?” It’s galvanising, whether recommitting to your relationship, or your health.

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So yes, I ignored the anniversary of my diagnosis. And I don’t regret it exactly but, at the end of June, it will be five years since my mastectomy - the date from which I count my cancer-free life. That does feel worth marking intentionally, rather than just as a passing thought while I’m unloading the dishwasher.

What should I do? Have a party? Go away for a weekend? Get a new tattoo?? (Genuinely tempted by all three.) I don’t think it matters so much what the celebration looks like, as long as it feels like a thank you - for my doctors, the friends and family that supported me, and the ordinary mornings I get to keep waking up.

If you have any ideas, send them my way. And while you’re at it, check your own calendar: what milestones have slipped by unmarked? What have you survived? What is worth a little celebration?

Life will always offer us a steady stream of jobs and laundry and emails. We should punctuate it with moments that say: this mattered. It’s good for our health.

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In case you missed it…

One of my favourite headlines of 2025 was a New Scientist cover story urging us to “give up on your goals”. Glorious. A balm to the soul after a decade of being hectored about grit, hustle and relentless self-optimisation.

It wasn’t, of course, suggesting we all immediately sack everything off and retreat to the sofa (though tempting). It was about the futility of perfectionism, and the wisdom of knowing when a goal that once felt galvanising has quietly morphed into something draining, guilt-inducing and frankly joyless.

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As we stumble towards the end of 2025, desperate to lie on the sofa and have a break from thinking about deadlines and the imminent AI apocalypse, I thought I’d bring you a dose of optimism and motivation from the brilliant Adrienne Adhami.

If you’ve ever listened to her on the Modern Wellness podcast, or read her books, Power Hour and Decisions That Matter, then you’ll know that her indefatigable enthusiasm is like having a life coach in your pocket.

In The Room

In the Room is a place for ambitious women. Written by Adrienne Adhami, TEDx Speaker, Author & Brand Advisor. Get actionable advice on work-life, building a network and creating a multidimensional career.

By Adrienne Adhami

It’s easy to look at creators like Adrienne and think that life is easy for her. I know this, because I’ve heard people say things (not necessarily about Adrienne, but other thin, beautiful women in gorgeous locations on Instagram) like: “It’s okay for her, with her perfect life. Some of us have real problems.”

Well, Adrienne doesn’t come from a background of wealth and privilege. She has experience of being a carer, and a young single parent. She has created this life slowly, intentionally, and with a lot of bloody hard work.

I often do interviews online, so it was dreamy to go to Adrienne’s house and chat face-to-face. I’m sharing the video here but, if you prefer just to listen, it’s available in the podcast app, too.

Have a wonderful festive season, and see you on the other side!

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If you’ve been here a while, then you already know that exercise reduces cancer risk. That inconvenient truth is one of the reasons I started writing Well Well Well - in an effort to become the kind of person who actually exercises regularly.

But the mechanism by which exercise fights cancer? That part has always been a little bit hand-wavy. Until now, the explanations have been broad and speculative: “hormones,” “inflammation,” “general good health,” and other phrases that sound reassuring but don’t survive eye contact with an oncologist.

Now, scientists have finally begun to map the biological chain of events. And it turns out that when we use our muscles, they don’t just get stronger, they become metabolically greedy. They hoard nutrients, regulate hormone signalling, and essentially starve potential tumour cells of the resources they need to grow. They’re not “attacking” cancer cells so much as cutting off their lunch.

This new research from Yale shows that not only does exercise sup…

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“You do say yes to a lot of things,” remarked my husband this week, as I was dashing out the door, toast in hand, for another early morning meeting.

We’re all feeling a bit overcommitted at this time of year. And part of me wouldn’t have it any other way. I mean, what a privilege to have lots of friends to see, lots of work to do and lots of things to fit in.

But as I ran to catch the bus, on my way to a meeting that could probably have been an email, I listened to the latest episode of Complex, the BBC podcast from chartered psychologist Kimberley Wilson.

“Are you consistently saying yes, when you would rather say no?” she asked. “Or neglecting your own needs to the benefit of those around you?”

Errrrrm… I mean, perhaps sometimes I’d rather say no, I thought to myself, quickly adding (even to myself), but I’m honestly fine either way! No worries if not!

The episode is about people pleasing, and it’s really worth a listen. I realised there are many ways in which I have said “I don’t mind” or “it’s fine” when I do, and it’s not.

For instance, I don’t like eating meat, I never have. I was a vegetarian between the ages of eight and 16: the window between realising I have a bit of autonomy about food, and peer pressure really kicking in. For years, I’d never cook meat at home or order it in a restaurant. But, if I went to someone’s house, I’d politely eat the meat they’d prepared, and then feel sick all night. In retrospect: why? My determination not to inconvenience anyone meant that I suffered in silence, when would anyone have cared if I just said that I don’t eat meat? Of course not! I know this now because I tell people that I don’t eat meat and it’s literally never a problem.

That’s one area where I’ve realised that I can say what I want, and people respect it. But there are plenty of other ways in which I’m too busy politely doing what’s expected of me to think about how I actually feel.

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People pleasing is going to be a big topic in 2026.

Fearne Cotton’s new nonfiction book, Likeable: How I Broke Free From The Need To Please, is out in March. And in April, Bryony Gordon’s novel, People Pleaser, tells the story of a “likeable” woman who takes a blue pill and wakes up - as the tagline says - “fresh out of fucks.”

This week I went to the launch of Suzy Reading’s new book, How to Be Selfish: 7 Steps To Taking Back Your Power, and found a room full of women talking about the ways in which they wish they had fewer fucks to give. “It’s not about being a selfish arsehole,” said Suzy in her speech. “It’s just about living life like we matter, too.”

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So, if you’re often left feeling anxious and wrung-out because you’ve agreed to take on extra work for which you don’t have the capacity, or you’ve agreed to go to a hen do that you can’t afford and are dreading, then it’s so important to be aware that if you continue to live up to certain expectations then people will continue to have those expectations of you.

We all know people who do things badly so that they won’t be asked to do them again (intentionally or not, I don’t know). There’s even a name for it: weaponised incompetence. But there has to be a middle ground between burning yourself out by meeting every expectation, and flagrantly not meeting any expectations at all.

I kind of hate the word “boundaries” because so often it’s used a licence to be a dick. Also, the word just makes me cringe. But it’s important to have some kind of rules around what is and isn’t okay for you.

(Side point: interviewed on the Liz Moody podcast this week, Oliver Burkeman made the argument that “cringe” is often a reaction to a personal vulnerability, and perhaps we should all try to lean into it a bit more. Easier said than done, I know.)

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If you’re stuck in a people pleasing pattern, and other people’s expectations of you are making it hard to break out, here’s what to do.

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“Tis the most stressful time of the year”, as the song doesn’t go, but should.

With work deadlines pulling forward, everyone you’ve ever met keen to “catch up before Christmas”, your kids’ school banging on about raffle tickets or something, and blaring Black Friday adverts insisting you buy everything in the world today… no wonder we’re feeling like all we want to do is lie down in a dark room.

But we can’t. It’s less than four weeks until Christmas. We must get our shit together.

This is where simple daily things like what we eat can make a huge difference. I’m handing this week’s edition of Well Well Well over to functional nutrition practitioner Marina Wright. Her new book, The Cortisol Reset Plan: Five steps to reduce stress, lose weight and reclaim your energy, does exactly what it says on the tin.

Here, she shares how you can eat to soothe your nervous system, your gut microbiome, and that frazzled mind. Good luck to us all. Over to Marina…

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Stress can feel like something over which …

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Do you find the very idea of ‘wellness’ off-putting? If you associate it with joylessly sipping a green juice or slogging away in a windowless gym, then I wouldn’t blame you.

Lifestyle change is hard, I keep hearing. Whether people are trying to exercise more, eat more healthily, manage stress or improve sleep, they tell me it’s ‘boring’. They see being healthy as a life of bleak deprivation. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Everyone is different, and something that makes one person feel great might not be right for you. There is no point forcing yourself to do something that you hate, or feeling guilty about not doing it, when your time would be better spent finding the healthy things that bring you joy (I promise you, they exist).

As I always say: it’s only good for you if you enjoy it.

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Who am I?

I’m a journalist, formerly deputy editor of Grazia, who has written for the Times, Telegraph, Vogue and has a day job at Guardian Labs. I spent my 20s (OK, and a lot of my 30s) living in a wa…

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When I was younger, I took my mane of hair for granted. If anything, it was annoying to have so much hair: it takes so long to wash! So long to dry! It gets so tangly!

Then, shortly after turning 40, I lost it all to chemotherapy for breast cancer. Well, I managed to retain a certain amount using the cold cap (which will have protected my follicles to an extent), but it was essentially a case of starting from scratch.

I swore never to take it for granted again; to appreciate every damn strand.

Then, of course, it turned out that treatment caused early menopause, so my post-chemo regrowth was nothing like my old hair. It was thinner, drier, more brittle. I wanted to appreciate it, but my hair was being frustratingly hard to love.

It happened quickly for me, thanks to crash menopause. But if you’re over 40, then you may have noticed a more gradual change.

Perhaps you’re noticing more hair on your hairbrush, or in your shower plug hole. Perhaps it suddenly takes less time to dry your hair, or you have to wrap your hair elastic an extra time around your noticeably-thinner ponytail.

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“I see many women in their late 30s to 50s with thinning, shedding and changes in texture,” says Dr Sharon Wong, a consultant dermatologist specialising in scalp health. “The decline in oestrogen and progesterone creates a relative dominance of male hormones,” she explains. “They act on receptors in hair follicles, triggering a process called miniaturisation, where hairs grow for a shorter period and become finer, leading to reduced volume and density.” Oestrogen also helps retain moisture, so its loss makes hair drier and more fragile, causing a “double whammy” of thinning and breakage.

While hormones are a big part of it, there are usually a combination of factors at play, including genetics, stress, nutritional deficiencies, rapid weight loss, or even an underlying thyroid or autoimmune condition. So dealing with it will require a multi-pronged approach.

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First, look at your diet. Ensure you’re getting enough protein, zinc, iron, omega 3, vitamin B12, biotin and collagen. Eggs, peanuts, edamame, tofu, sunflower seeds, almonds and sweet potatoes all contain protein and biotin. Dairy products, legumes, nuts and seeds are good for zinc. Omega 3 is worth supplementing if you don’t eat fish (there are only so many chia seeds a girl can eat).

Collagen supplements can be helpful (particularly if you don’t eat meat), but they’ll always support joints and ligaments before turning their attention to hair and skin, so consistency is key. To identify deficiencies, Superdrug has launched the UK’s first high street test to measure hair health nutrients. It requires popping in store for a blood test, and costs £99 – book it online at your nearest Superdrug Health Clinic.

If you’re very concerned, do talk to your GP, who should offer a similar test on the NHS, and can also rule out any underlying conditions.

Next, look at your sleep and stress levels. When the body is stressed, your hair is not its priority, and chronically raised cortisol can halt the anagen (growth) phase, causing more hairs to enter the telogen (resting) phase. Clearly, stressful events in your life are often outside of your control, but simple things like a short breathing practice, making time for a walk in the morning and prioritising social connections can make a difference. If you’re really struggling to get on top of stress then it’s worth looking into therapy. It’s not something you just have to live with.

And remember that anything good for your overall health is also good for your hair. Exercise, for instance, supports hair growth by improving circulation and reducing stress.

Then, consider your hair products and tools. Hannah Phillips is co-founder of Bangs in East London, the salon that nurtured my chemo-frazzled regrowth back to life. “A deep conditioning mask, such as Davines OI Hair Butter, once a week will help restore moisture and shine,” she says. “And limit heat styling when possible; overusing straighteners, tongs or blow-dryers makes dryness worse. If you do use heat, invest in a dryer with ionic technology to minimise damage.”

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Once you’ve looked at all of that, there are plenty of (often quite pricey) treatments out there to improve thinning hair after menopause. Some of the ones I go into in this article for Get the Gloss - such as polynucleotide injections and stem cell serums with microneedling - are not for the faint-hearted (ie. not for me).

But others, I can very much get on board with. For example, red light therapy is pain-free, relaxing and effective. Treatments such as The Light Salon’s Hair Revitaliser might be £75 a pop, but that’s a snip compared with the injectables (and you get a dreamy extended head massage too). Plus, on a cost-per-use basis, a home device like the Boost LED Body Patch (£375) soon seems pretty reasonable.

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The other thing I’m very much up for is massage. While it might sound like a namby pamby nice-to-have frivolity compared to the more science-heavy treatments, all the experts I spoke with agreed that it’s great for stimulating hair follicles.

The Head Spa treatment at Cloud Twelve in West London uses a combination of scalp analysis, deep cleansing and massage for an experience that not only gives your hair a boost but also provides deep relaxation (also good for your hair). At £190 for 70 minutes (or £245 for 90 minutes + LED helmet) it’s definitely more of a luxury treat than regular maintenance. But Cloud Twelve have kindly given me an offer for paid-up Well Well Well subscribers, scroll down to redeem it.

While it’s obviously ideal to have someone else massage your head, you can get the benefits at home to an extent. Take extra time while washing your hair and really massage the shampoo into your scalp. Even better, use a mask, and level up your home scalp massage game right up by investing in a Manta Pulse.

As with so much in life, there is not one magic solution, but that doesn’t mean there is nothing you can do.

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Two disparate sides of my personality converged last week, when Charli XCX was interviewed by Gwyneth Paltrow on the Goop podcast.

There’s my Gwyneth side, who rhapsodises about kale and goes to bed at 9.30pm so I can feel smug about my Oura sleep score. Then there’s the side of me that lost my mind to 365 at Glastonbury. These two sides can coexist!

Although the Charli side of me comes out less often these days, and she’s a cleaner-cut version than the 365 party girl of my teens and 20s. Luckily no pictures survive of the first time I went to Glastonbury aged 18. I drank all the cider, smoked cigarettes, kissed random boys and barely remember dancing to Ash and the Cardigans.

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