Regular readers will know that every year, Well Well Well has a six-week summer break.
The funny thing is, I always see a spike in subscribers during that time. I like to imagine people stumbling across this page while lying in a deckchair somewhere, deciding to sign up despite the fact they’ll receive nothing for several weeks. Delayed gratification! How very wellness.
Last summer, though, even though I was technically on holiday, I decided to schedule regular posts from the archive. If you’ve never ventured into the Well Well Well back catalogue, there’s loads of useful stuff in there.
I thought it would be a nice little bonus for readers, but something interesting happened. Rather than the usual summer bump, subscriber numbers flatlined. For every new subscriber, someone else seemed to unsubscribe.
Maybe people didn’t realise the archive editions were a little extra and thought: “I’ve already read this.” Maybe they were simply doing some summer inbox pruning, which is fair enough. Whatever the reason, it reminded me of something I’ve been trying - and mostly failing - to remember lately.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is... less.
We’ve become so conditioned to believe that more is always better. Even our downtime has to be industrious. But the older I get, the more I think real luxury is resisting the urge to fill every available space.
Which brings me to something I discovered recently: intentional daydreaming.
Jonathan and I escaped for a child-free night at The Langley hotel and spa in Buckinghamshire (astonishingly easy from London - Langley’s on the Lizzie line). We embraced what I’m calling our Summer of Less. Now, you might be thinking: I can’t just lie around doing less, I’m busy! There are too many things to do!
Well, research suggests that positive, constructive daydreaming can enhance creativity, support cognitive flexibility and help incubate solutions to problems. Rather than switching off, the brain becomes active during periods of quiet reflection, allowing us to connect ideas and simulate future possibilities. In other words, what looks like “doing nothing” may be an important part of how we think.
As a child, I was apparently an excellent daydreamer (at least that’s what my school reports always said). I spent plenty of lessons staring out of windows imagining exciting futures rather than listening to whatever the teacher was droning on about.
But somewhere along the way, those idle thoughts changed. Instead of imagining what I hoped might happen, I started imagining everything that could go wrong, ruminating about worst-case scenarios in situations ranging from my children’s longterm happiness to the weather next weekend.
When did my imagination become so pessimistic?? And can I get the good bit back?
After all, we know our thoughts matter. I looked into this a few months ago and found: “Your thoughts shape what you notice and how you behave; your behaviours reinforce those thoughts; and over time, this becomes your mood, your health and your identity.”
When I interviewed visualisation coach Maya Raichoora last year, she pointed to the growing body of evidence showing that imagining successful outcomes can improve everything from sporting performance to public speaking.
So, lying beside the lake at The Langley, listening to the bees humming through the wildflowers, I decided to give intentional daydreaming a go. My first attempt was a disaster of intrusive thoughts. But then I realised what I was doing wrong.
I was trying too hard. Again, it all came back to doing less.
When I used to daydream in maths lessons, I wasn’t carefully directing my thoughts towards an inspiring future. I wasn’t “manifesting”. I was just letting my mind wander for fun. I need to let go of the need to control, because intentional daydreaming isn’t about controlling your thoughts. It’s simply about allowing yourself to imagine the best thing you can think of - and enjoying it!
Think of it like going to a party. You can intend to have a good time, but you can’t control it. The magic lies in allowing something unexpected.
I know “just don’t try so hard” is the most annoying advice ever, and this isn’t easy for everyone. After cancer treatment, I had a year of therapy, which helped with managing intrusive thoughts. Three things that helped me:
Don’t fight negative thoughts. Acknowledge that this is your brain’s way of trying to keep you safe, take a deep breath and then redirect them.
Focus in on a positive scene: it might be your next holiday, your dream kitchen, or just an amazing meal you’re going to cook this week.
And start with five minutes. Sit in the garden with a cup of tea, watch the clouds from a park bench, or stare out of the train window.
Once I intentionally stopped trying to force it, the daydreaming came back surprisingly easily.
Because doing less doesn’t have to mean emptying your diary or escaping to a spa (although obvs that’s lovely). It can just mean giving your imagination enough space to remember that the future isn't only made up of things to fear. It's also full of things to look forward to.
See you in six weeks. Try not to do too much while I’m gone.
This week I’m…
Loving After the Barre’s Summer Sanity Plan: properly fun online workouts for when you only have 20 mins
Taking my kids to see The Curious Kitchen immersive experience with HelloFresh at the Natural History Museum - part of their Family Festival. Not only does it look like fun, but also they’ll learn that food doesn’t just magically appear in the kitchen 😂 It’s only running until 28 August so go soon!
Already planning our next trip to The Langley - this time taking the kids, who will bloody love the outdoor pool
Oof! The long slow adjustment away from using imagination to catastrophize. You give me hope I can eventually use my powers for good. 💪🏼
Ooooh I mean there I was reading it and nodding along and then suddenly there I actually was! Thank you for the mention, so glad you love the workouts ❤️❤️❤️❤️