How to give up giving up

It's only good for you if you enjoy it

Around this time of year, since I once wrote a book about Mindful Drinking, I’m often asked to write articles on Dry January.

I’m not complaining about this, I enjoy it! (And I’ve written an extremely useful feature about drinking less alcohol, which will run in the Sunday Times Magazine on 12 January, so look out for that if you’re interested.)

One reason that mindful drinking appeals to me is that it’s not about giving up anything altogether.

So much conversation in the run-up to January revolves around what people are giving up in the new year, but the concept of “giving up” just fills me with such a bleak sense of deprivation.

The idea that, to be healthy, you must “give up” things you like insinuates that healthy choices are to be tolerated as a penance for your previous overindulgence.

Healthy things can be nourishing, rewarding, feelgood and fun!

Of course, my reticence to give anything up should come with the caveat that some things are objectively bad for your health - you’ll know this because they ultimately make you feel bad, even though they might briefly feel good in the moment.

So I asked Dr Anastasia Hronis, clinical psychologist and author of The Dopamine Brain (which is out 19 December and available to preorder now), for her tips on resisting those little hits of fake joy.

“Dopamine-driven impulses can lead us to pursue things that are pleasurable: a tasty treat, some online shopping or an extra glass of wine and, during the festive season, we may be more inclined to be driven by these impulses,” says Dr Hronis. “The lead-up to Christmas can be a good opportunity to reflect on how we manage those impulses, and balance both pleasure and purpose over the festive season.”

1. Clarify your priorities and values
   “Take some time to think about what your values actually are and how you can live in accordance with them over the holidays. When we live our life in alignment with our values, we feel a greater sense of overall life satisfaction and contentment. It's important to be aware of when our impulses might take us away from those more meaningful, values-based activities.”

2. Practice awareness
   “Impulsive behaviours can feel good in the moment but don't always feel that good in the long run. Check in with yourself regularly, and reflect on how you're feeling. Use this as a guide to do more of the things that help you feel calm and satisfied.”

3. Moderation is key
   “We don't want to entirely deprive ourselves of things that can be pleasurable - a glass of wine, a Christmas pudding or an end-of-year gift to ourselves! But it’s important to always balance these with activities and pursuits that feel deeply meaningful to us. Perhaps that's spending quality time with family, giving back to the community or practising gratitude.”

All of the above is good advice. And also, since I’m not busy enough what with pre-Christmas deadlines, socialising, gift organising and dressing my son as a flying monkey for the school production of The Wizard of Oz (showtime: 2pm on Wednesday, so convenient for working parents), I’ve decided to do a mini series on Instagram celebrating things that are both fun and healthy this festive season.

Join me over there if you haven’t already.

rosamunddean

A post shared by @rosamunddean

Here’s to finding healthy ways to have fun, and fun ways to be healthy, in 2025 and beyond!

In the meantime, here are 9 things that you probably enjoy, and are good for your health.