This habit will make you feel better by the end of today

A totally unselfish wellness hack

The United Nations World Happiness Report came out last week, sparking the usual flurry of headlines about how to live like those in the Nordic countries that always top the list, and the usual handwringing about how the United Kingdom and the United States have both slipped down the ranking, yet again.

Being happy (or at least, not unhappy) is vital for good health - you can’t eat, move, sleep or rest well if you’re depressed. And, although the methods used to compile the World Happiness Report may be in dispute, there is one thing on which everyone agrees: kindness is key.

But kindness needs a rebrand. These days, it’s associated with vacuous social media types who tell us to #BeKind (if you’ve ever met these people in real life, you’ll often find that their kindness appears to be reserved for hashtags).

So I call on Bernadette Russell, whose new book Conversations on Kindness charts her quest to do something kind for a stranger, every single day for a year.

‘I gave away cakes, books and compliments,’ she says. ‘I left notes and gifts in public places, I wrote uplifting messages in chalk on pavements, I carried luggage, buggies and nervous puppies up and down steep stairs, I sponsored anyone who asked, I delivered food and care packages for people experiencing homelessness. At the end of the year, I carried on, realising that this is now a lifetime commitment.’

If you’re wondering how all this is good for your health, kindness has been shown to release the feelgood hormones - dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin - which make you feel great in the moment, and improve your immunity. Also, you’re more likely to eat, move and sleep well if you’re feeling positive about yourself, and others.

‘It has been life-changing,’ she says. ‘It’s improved my mental and physical health, helped me get to know my neighbours and feel connected to a worldwide ecosystem of kindness campaigners. It taught me that, despite what we are told about the world, there is more good than bad, more hope than fear, more love than hate.’

5 health-boosting acts of kindness, by Bernadette Russell

1. See Kind
   We are bombarded daily with negative stories about the world, so I decided to notice everyday kindnesses instead. I invite you to do the same - notice when someone gets up to offer their seat on the bus, or feeds the birds in the park, or when a stranger smiles and says ‘good morning’.
   Our ‘negativity bias’ is how we have evolved to notice the bad, to keep ourselves safe. This tendency can make us depressed, but we can rebalance it by noticing positive experiences, including kindness. It improves our mental health and gives us hope, as we see that there is good in the world after all.

2. Read Kind
   You are what you read so, if you find yourself doomscrolling, notice when it’s making you feel anxious or depressed, and balance it up with some positive news. It doesn’t make the bad news go away, but it reduces anxiety, despair and depression to know that, all over the world, there are individuals and organisations working compassionately to help people and the planet.
   Endless bad news triggers our stress response, releasing cortisol, a hormone that increases anxiety and exhaustion - and chronically elevated levels can suppress our immunity. Instead, learning about people being kind in the world gives you a dopamine hit, leading to a happier mood and greater resilience.

3. Eat Kind

   Philip Lymbery, CEO of Compassion in World Farming, taught me about the connection between kindness to animals, to ourselves and to the planet. Factory farming (the grain-feeding of animals confined in cages) is the largest cause of animal suffering on earth, and one of the biggest causes of deforestation, resulting in greenhouse gas emissions.
   Three times a day, we have the chance to be kind to ourselves, to animals and to the planet by choosing carefully what we eat: replacing factory-farmed meat and dairy with ethically-produced versions (if affordable), and more vegetables and whole grains, which are cheaper than meat. This is not only kinder to animals and the planet, but also reduces our risk of chronic conditions such as heart disease, diabetes and some cancers.

4. Me Kind
   Being kind to myself was the hardest thing for me to learn. Initially, I dismissed self-compassion as self-indulgent. But Victoria Johnston, founder of the Museum of Happiness, shared powerful tips to help me learn to be kinder to myself. First, pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Notice if you are berating or bullying yourself, with 'I’m so stupid' or 'I’m so clumsy'. When you notice this, replace those harsh thoughts with kindness, as you would with a friend. Then, end each day with a reflection of what you have done well or enjoyed, even something very small like a great cup of tea. My mental health improved immensely when I replaced negative self-talk with loving self-talk, and when I took time to reflect on the positives at the end of each day. Try it - you’ll feel brighter, happier and more confident.

5. Be Kind
   Daily acts of kindness provide joy and connection - and they don’t need to be time-consuming or expensive. In fact, keep them simple, easy and enjoyable to improve the chances of keeping it up! You probably already are kind every day, but noticing it adds an extra layer of 'I put a smile on that person’s face, I made a difference’.
   Say 'good morning' to a stranger at the bus stop, collect litter in the park, ask your barista how they are (and listen to their reply), leave a glowing recommendation for a local business online… these are small yet powerful acts. And you will be rewarded with the Helpers' High of oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine that improve our mental and emotional health, as well as protecting our hearts and strengthening our immune and nervous systems.

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This week I’m…

Enjoying the latest thriller in which Nicole Kidman’s picture-perfect life with her community pillar husband is turned upside down. Holland is on Prime Video from tomorrow.

Picturing the perfect future, with new books from Instagram’s queens of manifesting and visualising. Confidence by Roxie Nafousi, and Visualise by Maya Raichoora are both out this week.

Drinking instant coffee - don’t judge me, coffee snobs! Instant coffee contains more fibre and antioxidants than freshly ground, so it’s actually healthier (and obviously cheaper, unless like me you prefer the fancy mushroom blends).

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