You don't need to do Everything Right Now
Take a deep breath, drop your shoulders, and read this
One week into 2025, and what have we learned?
A lot of people are down on New Year’s resolutions these days, but I’m not one of them. The fresh start effect is well-documented as a useful tool to motivate yourself to make changes that feel good. Whether you want to improve your health, relationships, productivity or mood, there are habits that will help you, and the start of a new year can be a great time to implement them.
Perhaps you have made changes in the past week that are already making you feel good and, if so, great work! Keep it up.
HOWEVER. It’s also true that this time of year comes with so much pressure, which can set us up for failure. Perhaps your plan to, for example, do yoga every evening has already faltered at the words: “Traitors is on”. If so, congratulations: you are human and relatable, and also can we discuss Claudia’s fingerless gloves?
This Friday is known as Quitters Day, because it’s the day by which 43% of people have given up on overly restrictive or highly ambitious New Year’s resolutions. What a way to start the year; feeling like you’re given up already. Let’s try a different way.
Here’s my 7-point plan to feeling better this month
Don’t rush
I love the concept of Selina Barker’s Slowanuary. This month, she says, is “a time to not leap into action, but to be still, to go slow. A time to rest and reflect, dream and plan.”
I have a copy of Selina’s guided journal, Goodbye 2024 Hello 2025, which I planned to fill in between Christmas and New Year. Did I fill it in? No I did not. And part of me felt that I had “failed” to make plans for 2025, so I love the idea that I have an extra month in which to take my time, and do it well.
Elsewhere, I was fascinated to read that listening to something at 0.75 speed actually calms your brain. I know so many people who listen to voice notes, podcasts and audiobooks on 1.5x or even double speed, in order to save time. But is the time you save worth stressing out your brain?Do less
Almost all of us has an area of our life where we can delete some things from our to-do list and stop over-scheduling ourselves. I was interested to read acupuncture guru Ross Barr in the FT at the weekend saying: “If I were to give you a list of 10 health tips… the thing I guarantee you'd leave till the end, which is the most important, is to do f-all when you get the chance.”
Even notorious doer Reese Witherspoon is taking this month to do less.
Work smarter
OK yes, I know we’re all back at work, and everyone is “circling back” on that thing you kind of hoped would just disappear in the new year, and it might not feel as if doing less is much of an option right now. This is where working smarter comes in. “Multi-tasking is the thief of productivity,” says Emily Austen, author of Smarter: 10 lessons for a more productive and less-stressed life. “We’ve been led to believe that success is connected to how much we do (or are seen to do), rather than the impact of it. Understanding what success, health, balance and wealth mean to you personally is the first step in setting realistic resolutions to enhance your life. Restrictive solutions for the sake of change, or because someone online shouted it at you down the camera, does not set you up to win."
Ditch comparison
As Demi Moore said in her Golden Globe acceptance speech: “Just put down the measuring stick.” (Yes, I realise the absolute irony of saying that while wearing a golden gown to collect a golden award, but her point stands.)
Make it easy
I love James Clear’s advice of making a new habit as small as possible, so I’ve come up with The 3-Minute Workout. Every morning, before going downstairs, I’ve started doing 6 exercises of 30 seconds each: plank, squats, lunges, crunches, bicep curls and tricep extensions (I have a dumbbell in my room for the last two, but could replace them with dips and press-ups to make it bodyweight-only). It’s so quick and easy; my plan is to keep doing 3 minutes until it feels as automatic as brushing my teeth, then I’ll make each exercise 40 seconds (4 mins total), then 50 seconds (5 mins total). I only started it yesterday, so will let you know how it develops…Make it fun
When you say your resolution out loud, how does it make you feel? If you’ve resolved to give up one of your favourite foods, or run three times a week no matter the weather, it might fill you with a feeling of dread (again, it might not, everyone’s different!). Could you also commit to something that fills you with joy, ie. read more books, get more plants, have more baths, plan more fun weekends, give more compliments, see more of your friends...?
Find a new fresh start
A clean slate can help with starting a new habit, but 1 January is not the only fresh start of the year. You can use your birthday, or the start of any month, or even any Monday. The options are endless. Also, Lunar New Year is on 29 January this year, which is pleasing for those of us who are using this month to plan and prioritise, and would like a delayed “new year”.
Basically, you needn’t be tied to any rules or conventions that suggest, if you have reneged on your plan to exercise more often or drink less alcohol, you have “failed”. That’s bollocks.
The truth is, you know yourself better than anyone else. And also: you have time. Don’t give into the culture of time-scarcity that would have you believe you’ve missed your chance to seize the new year by the horns. Take the time you need this month, and do 2025 your way.
This week I’m…
Wondering if there’s a way I could sneak off to Bath this month. The ReBalance Bath Wellbeing Festival is a brilliantly affordable alternative to expensive wellness festivals - nearly all events are under £20 and over a third are free (30 January - 16 February)
Ending the ongoing disagreement with my husband about whether it’s better to be an optimist or a pessimist with this article that explains “realistic optimism” is the way forward
Thinking about my own attitude towards risk, inspired by Dr Lucy McBride, who explains that everything from drinking alcohol to driving a car involves a risk/benefit analysis
Thanks for the shout-out, Rosamund! I really like your perspective on the issues you present here!
I like your perspective. I'm one of those who likes to close the year out as a chapter and think of the new year as an unwritten story. As I start fresh, the story writes itself. I know that deep inside, my heart and spirit know what I need and where I need to go. I trust this process, and make those small changes (as you have) to move in that direction filled with curiosity about the next page.