Why is moderation so deeply unsexy?

Back in 2017, I wrote a book called Mindful Drinking. The idea was that there are lots of books out there about how to stop drinking, but many people don’t want to stop altogether, they just want to cut down. The book was a guide for anyone who wants to drink a bit less. Pretty uncontroversial, you might think? I certainly did.

But I faced criticism from both sides: drinkers thought it was sanctimonious and dull to cut down, and I had just as many angry comments from the sober community, who thought it was irresponsible to suggest that any amount of alcohol is acceptable.

Just to be clear, I have never told a heavy drinker that they should cut down, just as I’ve never tried to pressure a sober person into drinking. The point of the book was to support anyone who wanted to cut back, with tools and techniques to make it easier. The book is there for you if you want it but, if you don’t like it, don’t buy it!

Anyway, I have since wondered about how as innocuous a concept as moderation might have stirred up such strong feelings. And I think it’s all about identity.

People identify with the shambolic fun of drinking (think of all those social media bios that mention gin or wine) or with the bold sophistication of sobriety, which comes with its own community and branding. There is far less of an appetite to be the person who has the occasional glass of wine with dinner, but doesn’t really do getting shit-faced anymore. It’s not perceived as exciting, and it’s certainly not sexy.

When my book was published, one newspaper columnist wrote that mindful drinking was about ‘abstemious control freaks’ out to ‘spoil the Christmas party’. Last year, that same columnist wrote about giving up alcohol altogether. Drinking can be your personality, until it isn’t, and then sobriety becomes part of your identity instead.

Well, I’m here to claim the middle ground. To make it sexy to drink occasionally, or eat enough veg on most days of the week, or be quite good at yoga but not have the t-shirt. An all-or-nothing approach works for some, but I don’t think perfection is sustainable for most people in the long term.

So you’re unlikely to find me claiming to have entirely given up alcohol, or sugar, or repeatedly watching Harry Styles music videos. But I certainly do those things (ok, two of those things) less than I used to… and I make damn sure I fully enjoy them when I do.

This week I’m…

• Enjoying asparagus season thanks to this recipe from The Doctor’s Kitchen

• Being inspired by the Wagatha Christie saga to celebrate the OG

• Loving the return of live comedy with the trailer for Katherine Ryan’s new series

• Wondering what 15-year-old me would make of 2022-era Take That
  

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