I know I should exercise but…
Psychology-backed ways to make it easier
Why do some people love exercise, while others would rather do literally anything else?
Experts don’t really know. Maybe it’s our genes. Perhaps it’s our microbiome. Either way, loving or hating exercise seems to be as random as whether or not you like Marmite.
Sadly, unlike eating Marmite, exercise is absolutely vital for good health. Meeting the government guidelines (at least 150 minutes of moderate intensity activity a week, plus strength training at least twice a week) will reduce your risk of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, dementia, many cancers, and the brilliantly broad “all-cause mortality”, as well as offsetting the symptoms of chronic conditions from Parkinson’s to depression.
The trouble is that most people sharing advice about how to enjoy exercise are naturally sporty types, who have become fitness instructors or personal trainers precisely because that’s how they like to spend their time.
Their advice tends to be a variation of “just do it,” which is about as useful as telling an addict to “just stop smoking/drinking/whatever.”
For me, it was clear from a very young age that I’m not sporty. Naturally non-competitive, I have no interest in team sports, find athletics deathly boring and, while I don’t mind running, anything that resembles a “race” fills me with dread.
As you can imagine, PE was my hell, and this seeped into a sedentary adulthood.
Over the last few years, purely through a determination to not get cancer again (there's strong evidence that exercise dramatically reduces recurrence rates), I’ve found ways to move that I don’t hate:
Running (slowly) in the park while listening to pop playlists with names like “pov: ur that girl” (important note: sunny days only).
Reformer Pilates. If I was a millionaire, I’d actually do this all the time.
Dancing. I don’t go to any specific class but I work from home, so have a solo kitchen disco pretty regularly.
Long walks (shoutout to
who organises monthly walks with local friends in our corner of North London).Yoga. Although I tend to do yin classes, which are all about breathing and stretching, so not sure if it counts as exercise, but it’s certainly good for my brain.
Five minutes of squats, lunges, crunches and plank in the morning before my shower. It’s not fun, but it’s quick, free and effective.
Anyway, I’d still prefer to lie on the sofa than do any of the above, so my attention was piqued by new book, I Know I Should Exercise But…, written by biomechanist Katy Bowman and clinical psychologist Diana Hill. They’ve identified 44 of the most common reasons for not moving our bodies, and practical ways to get over them.
Here are six of my favourites (which have all applied to me over the years), with advice from Bowman and Hill that might constitute the mindset shift you need right now.
1. Between work and family responsibilities, I have no time to exercise
You’re caught in the rigidity of either/or thinking. “Either I am taking care of my family, or I am moving my body.” “Either I am working, or I am exercising.” By swapping out “either/or” with “both/and”, you open yourself up to the possibility of creative ways to move your body while also tending to different parts of your life. Try finishing these sentences:
I can both be with my kids and move my body by…
One way I can both work and walk is…
2. I plan to wake up and do yoga, but reach for my phone and end up scrolling instead
Our screens are addictive. When you can’t put it down, at least put it to work for you. If you’ve set an alarm to wake you up, why not set another that goes off 20 minutes later (maybe right in the middle of your scrolling)? You could label that alarm with a note that pops up on the screen: MORNING WALK REMINDER! YOU WANT THIS! I LOVE YOU! Then take your own advice (and your phone, if you must) and get that dose of precious morning movement.
3. It feels selfish to leave my family to exercise
One psychological tool is learning the difference between selfishness and self-compassion. Exercise can be selfish sometimes, if you’re chronically neglecting the feelings of others, ie. always cancelling plans to get a run in. But more often, taking the time to meet your physical needs makes you ultimately more effective in other things you need to get done, which can include caretaking.
4. Exercise is so boring, it’s the last thing I want to do with my free time
It’s hard to drum up motivation when you think something is boring. So how to make movement less tedious? A strategy called “temptation bundling” can change your perspective. Think about the type of exercise you’re trying to motivate yourself to do, then come up with fun activities you can do, or environments you can create, at the same time. Take a walk at the farmers’ market, watch your favourite show at the gym (and only at the gym!), or bike along the prettiest streets. To make your movement less monotonous, pair it with something you love.
5. I'm great at starting exercise programmes, but can never stick with them
Guess what? 30-day plans are the opposite of habit-forming; they come with their own expiration date (you never have to do this again in 29 more days!). It’s no wonder that half of people who start an exercise programme drop out within six months. If you want a habit to be sustainable, you need to start small and make it doable. Explore which types of movement you can realistically add to your life. For example, to start strength training, simple and small ideas could be to do counter push-ups while waiting for the kettle to boil, practise lunges during commercial breaks, or take the stairs two at a time.
6. I was pressured to exercise as a kid and I’m still rebelling
Many of us had negative experiences with exercise as kids. Whether it was being forced to take swimming lessons or climb the ropes in gym, being shamed or ridiculed for being slow or clumsy, or being left out of activities because we weren’t athletic enough, we all have stories that can make us unmotivated to move our bodies as adults. Although we cannot go back and change our early childhoods, we can change how we respond to ourselves now. Self-compassion is a powerful strategy that involves caring for yourself in the way you would care for someone else you love. By being more self-compassionate you are more likely to move, because you know deep down that moving is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself.
For 38 more of these, pick up I Know I Should Exercise, But...: 44 Reasons We Don't Move More and How to Get Over Them by Diana Hill and Katy Bowman
This week I’m…
Fantasising about a world in which Viola Davies is US president by watching G20 on Prime Video
In my ‘healing era’ with celebrity holistic therapist Estelle Bingham’s Manifest Your True Essence: Clear Your Blocks, Find Your Joy, Live Your Truth ✨
Enjoying the smug feeling of having just finished the first three seasons of the brilliant Hacks (with uncharacteristically perfect timing) ahead of season 4, coming to Sky this week
Cooking the creamy courgette and butterbean bowl from Soph's Plant Kitchen: Delicious high protein recipes to fuel you for life by Sophie Waplington
This is a very timely post for me, Rosamund.
Having had a back operation yesterday, I am languishing in hospital, knowing that movement and exercise will be vital to recovery. For the last few weeks I have had considerable back pain and used this as a reason (aka excuse) for not exercising. (Swimming was out, mainly because of the tediousness and pain of getting changed). I was also too weak-willed to watch my diet during this time. I should have concentrated on losing weight but I didn’t, and now self discipline will have to be the name of the game. Soon!
Glad I’m still in touch with you.
PS. I’ll try sending you a 40 year old photo of people you may know!
Sandie